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Old January 11th, 2009 #42
Jess_Smith
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,808
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Q: How can you tell a Jewish house?
A: Toilet paper on the washing line.

Q: What's another way you can you tell a Jewish house?
A: Padlocks on the rubbish bins.

Q: How can you tell a Jewish house at Christmas?
A: Parking meter on the roof.

Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
A: He comes down the chimney and says "Hi kids! You want to buy some presents?"

Q: How was the Grand Canyon formed?
A: Someone dropped 20 cents down a rabbit hole at a Jewish Convention.

Q: Why do Jewish wives keep their old bras?
A: So they can make Yarmulkes for their husbands.

Q: What's the difference between pizzas and Jews?
A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

Q: Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years?
A: Because someone dropped a twenty-cent piece.

Q: Did you know that the limbo was invented by the Jews?
A: Yeah, it was from sneaking into pay toilets.

Q: Why do Jewish wives use gold diaphragms?
A: Their husbands like coming into money.

Q: What do you get if you cross a Jew with a Gypsy?
A: A chain of empty retail stores.

Q: What's the difference between karate and judo?
A: Karate is a form of self-defence, and judo is what bagels are made out of (Jew dough).

Q: How did they know that Jesus was Jewish?
A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father's business, his mother thought he was God, and he thought his mother was a virgin.

Q: How do you stop a Jewish girl from having sex with you?
A: Marry her.

Q: What's the definition of Jewish foreplay?
A: Two hours of begging.

Did you hear about the Jewish doctor who gave a patient six months to live?
When the patient couldn't pay, the doctor gave him another six months.