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Old October 13th, 2019 #21
Nikola Bijeliti
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stewart Meadows View Post
Hmm...okay. That's not quite as funny as "My Dung", "Rong Phuck", "Fat Kok" or "The male sex toilet", but thanks.
What makes it funny is that it was put out by the Department of Education. I pointed out the error at a school meeting where a similar sign was posted but was told that it was a federal program and they could not change the wording.

Here's a sign that I saw over the urinals at a men's room in the far east. I do not have a photo, but it looked something like this.

PLEASE FLASH
AFTER USING


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Old October 14th, 2019 #22
Stewart Meadows
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikola Bijeliti View Post
What makes it funny is that it was put out by the Department of Education. I pointed out the error at a school meeting where a similar sign was posted but was told that it was a federal program and they could not change the wording.
I see. Thanks.

Quote:
Here's a sign that I saw over the urinals at a men's room in the far east. I do not have a photo, but it looked something like this.


Now that’s funny.

More pictures (I’m posting some of them from two different sources in case one of them disappears):



















My driver is an ass rammer? That's good to know.
 
Old October 15th, 2019 #23
Stewart Meadows
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"Anus English Academy".







 
Old October 15th, 2019 #24
Hugh Akston
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And here's some of that "truth"...

 
Old October 15th, 2019 #25
Nikola Bijeliti
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In my youth I spent some time in the Orient and noted a lot of comical misuses of English. I collected all the ones I could remember, added a couple of my own invention, and included them in a passage in my novel The European Identity:
Quote:
The western portion of the United States was becoming more and more Chinese as China sought to dominate and eventually annex that territory by sending in more and more Chinese colonists in the guise of “immigrants.” It wasn't long before the city of San Francisco was nearly one hundred percent Chinese. The few remaining non-Chinese told stories of the strange English that was spoken there by the Chinese.

In one instance, a White man told of how he went to see a doctor, and the receptionist told him, “Please, shit over there.” She must have meant “sit over there.” When he saw the doctor, the doctor said, “I need to taste your urine.” He figured the doctor meant “test your urine.” When he went to the men's room to produce the sample, the sign over the urinal said, “Please flash after using.” It must have meant “flush after using.” When a nurse came to take his blood pressure, she said “Kiss me” as she rolled up his sleeve. He was pretty sure she meant “excuse me.” Complaining about how stressful her job was, she told him, “My work has too much pleasure.” She probably meant “too much pressure.”

Many Chinese-owned businesses were given names in English of the sort that that Asians would come up with who don't understand all the nuances of English. For example, a Chinese man obtained a permit from the city to open a chain of Chinese fast-food eateries in all of the subway stations in the city. As the subway system was called Bay Area Rapid Transit, or BART, he named his restaurant chain Bay Area Rapid Food and used the acronym BARF. Another Chinese man opened a pet store, and, noting that “fondle” is a synonym for “pet,” named his store Fondle Dogs and Cats. A Chinese-owned butcher shop had a sign outside that read, “Our meat is always flesh.”

Chinatown was still promoted as a tourist attraction, and as the city became one hundred percent Chinese, and English was no longer spoken or understood in most parts of the city, White tourists noted the anomaly that Chinatown was the only place in the city with signs in English and the only place where English was still spoken.
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All these ideas…are chained to the existence of men, to who[m]…they owe their existence. Precisely in this case the preservation of these definite races and men is the precondition for the existence of these ideas. --Adolf Hitler
 
Old October 17th, 2019 #26
Stewart Meadows
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hugh Akston View Post
And here's some of that "truth"...

That picture reminds me of the following restaurant, for some reason...



P.S. Nikola, thank you for posting that excerpt about Chinese people from your novel.
 
Old October 18th, 2019 #27
Nikola Bijeliti
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Default Man Attaches Jet Engine to Amish Buggy, Reaches 60 mph

Jet-Powered “Thunder Buggy” Reaches 60 MPH
Quote:
It’s Friday, so how about something light. So, here are a couple of guys who took an Amish buggy and strapped a jet engine onto the back of it. Why not.


The two men behind the rocket buggy live somewhere in Amish country and are apparently racing enthusiasts.


One of the two bought a jet engine online by mistake (he thought it was “turbo shaft”, but it was “turbo jet” only, whatever that means).


In practice this means it wouldn’t work on a heavier vehicle (he had originally planned to attach it to a truck).

Living in “the Amish capital of the world” (going by the buggy I’m guessing he means Holmes County), he decided “an Amish buggy would be perfect” for the engine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xhbu7I8QmGQ
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All these ideas…are chained to the existence of men, to who[m]…they owe their existence. Precisely in this case the preservation of these definite races and men is the precondition for the existence of these ideas. --Adolf Hitler
 
Old October 20th, 2019 #28
Stewart Meadows
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Last edited by Stewart Meadows; October 21st, 2019 at 07:38 AM.
 
Old October 21st, 2019 #29
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Last edited by Stewart Meadows; October 21st, 2019 at 06:51 PM.
 
Old October 30th, 2019 #30
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Old October 31st, 2019 #31
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Old November 2nd, 2019 #32
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Default What The Hell Were They Thinking?











Funny headlines:








Last edited by Stewart Meadows; November 2nd, 2019 at 04:18 PM.
 
Old November 3rd, 2019 #33
Stewart Meadows
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16 Stunning China Brand Knockoff Fails

https://www.china-mike.com/funny/fake-chinese-brands/














 
Old November 4th, 2019 #34
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Old November 5th, 2019 #35
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Funny headlines:







Funny place names:





 
Old November 5th, 2019 #36
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I assume the French words for "condom", "bitch" and "anus" are different from English?

Of course, there is an Intercourse, Alabama and one in Pennsylvania.
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Last edited by Ray Allan; November 5th, 2019 at 04:41 PM.
 
Old November 5th, 2019 #37
Nikola Bijeliti
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ray Allan View Post
I assume the French words for "condom", "bitch" and "anus" are different from English?

Of course, there is an Intercourse, Alabama and one in Pennsylvania.
And if you're headed to Intercourse, Pennsylvania and take a wrong turn, you'll end up in Blue Ball.
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Old November 6th, 2019 #38
Stewart Meadows
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikola Bijeliti View Post
And if you're headed to Intercourse, Pennsylvania and take a wrong turn, you'll end up in Blue Ball.


Your post reminds me of "Petting" and "Fucking":

From Petting to Fucking in just 30 Minutes.

https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comme...st_30_minutes/



Quote:
Fucking (/ˈfʌkɪŋ/ German: [ˈfʊkɪŋ] (listen)) is an Austrian village[2] in the municipality of Tarsdorf,[3] located in the Innviertel region of western Upper Austria. The village is 33 kilometres (21 mi) north of Salzburg, and is 4 km (2.5 mi) east of the Inn river, which forms part of the German border.
Despite having a population of only 104 in 2005, the village has drawn attention in the English-speaking world for its place-name, which is spelled the same as an inflected form of the profane English-language verb "fuck".[4][5] Its road signs are a popular visitor attraction, and they were often stolen by souvenir-hunting vandals until 2005, when the signs were modified to be theft-resistant.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking,_Austria

 
Old November 6th, 2019 #39
Nikola Bijeliti
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And let's not forget this popular Swedish magazine:



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Old November 7th, 2019 #40
Stewart Meadows
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikola Bijeliti View Post
And let's not forget this popular Swedish magazine:


Yes, because fart means "speed" in Swedish.

Quote:
Swedish words that just sound wrong in English


Swedish is a fun language to learn, but there are some words which can bring a blush to English-speakers' cheeks. Here are eight words which we still find awkward to use in conversation.

1. Fart

There's a clever and delightful little Swenglish play on words: "It's not the fart that kills, it's the smell." Why is it clever? Well, the word 'fart' is Swedish for 'speed' and the word 'smäll' (pronounced smell) is the Swedish word for 'crash'. So, it's not the speed that kills you, it's the crash. If you invite your non-Swedish friends on a road trip, be prepared for adolescent humour every time you go past a police 'fartkontroll' (speed check) or drive into a carpark at the 'infart' (entry) sign.
https://www.thelocal.se/20151014/eig...ard-in-english
 
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