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Old July 9th, 2009 #1
Alex Linder
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War Nerd MC’s First Man O’ War O’wardz

By Gary Brecher



Well ain’t that nice: Bono got another award. That’s what will help our world be a better and nicer place, Bono getting another award. What makes this one even more sickening than the rest is the name of the award: “Man of Peace.” That’s right: in case any of you had any doubts, on December 16, 2008, a bunch of moldy international moochers got together and officially named Bono this year’s man of peace.

There are a lot of people worth hating in this world, but I can’t think of anybody more in need of two bullets in the torso and one in the head than our friend Bono. Or whatever his name is; “Bono” is the name he took when he started his little Christian-classic-rock ensemble U2. I guess it was an homage deal to Sonny and Cher: “Saint Bono, who was martyred by a ski-slope tree.” And the wacky name they gave their band, , U2, like “you too”—how’s that for witty and inclusive at the same time, the kind of humor even liberals can get. These guys were like the wits of the eighties, as you can see. Bono’s boyfriend from their Christian high school renamed himself “The Edge,” which is even funnier. When you think edgy, you sure think of guys like the boys in U2, edgemeisters like Bono who once booked a first-class airline ticket for his cowboy hat.

So here’s my contribution to fair and balanced: I’m inaugurating the first annual Man O’ War O’Wardz to commemorate the people who are trying to make the world a better place through war.

And I’m dead serious about that. There are times and places when war helps and “peace” hurts. Like the case of the man who gets our first MO’W O’Ward: General Laurent Nkunda, leader of the Tutsi militia in Eastern Congo. Nkunda is not only the coolest-looking guy on the planet, like a praying mantis in human form, he’s probably the most brilliant commander actually working on a front line right now. With as few as 3000 men, he’s in effective control of a huge chunk of Eastern Congo.

And he’s doing good by making war. A lot more good than Bono’s doing. Bono’s approach to Africa is to treat Africans like retards who need fulltime care. He wants the West to be Quakery with Africa, forgive them their debts so the sleazy leaders can run up some more billions to spend on estates in Europe. Send them more free food so the birthrate can rise without a hope in Hell of jobs and an infrastructure to support the kids they’re popping out. The idea behind Bono’s plan, if you can even call it an idea, is something like, “They’re so hopeless we have to give them everything and hope for the best.”

Now take my man, Laurent Nkunda. He came up out of nowhere, never asked anybody for a thing. Nobody even knows much about him because he’s always played his biographical details very close to the flak vest. He whipped a small Tutsi militia into such fantastic shape that it chased the gigantic robbin’, rapin’ army of Congo right out of the bush. And he did all this while his people, the Tutsi, were being slaughtered all through Rwanda. Nobody helped him or the Tutsi. Not Bono, not nobody. The first time the bleeding hearts got worried about Rwanda, and this is a matter of “historical record” as they say, was when RPF, the Tutsi militia, chased the Hutu genocidaires out of Rwanda with their pangas still dripping Tutsi women and kids’ blood. Then the UN came out in force, with all the free food and sympathy even Bono could ask.

The Tutsi didn’t complain. They don’t do complaining. They’re like the Prussians, tall and grim, and just as likely to be wiped out, too. They took back Rwanda and forgave the Hutu murderers.

The Tutsi, this little tribal army carved out of the survivors of the worst genocide in decades, kept walking west out of Rwanda and walked into a giant vacuum called “Congo.” The Congo Army was a dirty joke and collapsed when the disciplined Tutsi units approached, and the little army marched all the way to Kinshasa, where the leaders, including Nkunda, were fobbed off with fancy titles while the Kabilas, father and son, went about making the usual sleazy Congo deals with the Katanga rich boys, divvying up the country fresh. Nkunda was promoted to general in the Congo Army in 2004, but as he watched his friends from the bush picked off one by one, framed for treason or other joke crimes and disappeared, he got the idea that Kinshasa wasn’t a healthy place for a real man of war. That kind of peace was too dirty for him.

And there was work for a soldier back in eastern Congo. The Hutu genocidaires, those wonderful specimens of humanity who were sulking in the forests there after being forced out of Rwanda before they could finish off “the work” of killing every last Tutsi infant, responded to the Tutsis’ totally unprecedented softness and failure to take revenge by massacring and raping all the Tutsi civilians they could catch in Congo. It was like they decided to franchise Tutsi genocide to their new location.

That’s when Nkunda’s little army went in, to flush them out and protect his tribe. By this time Nkunda was commanding Tutsi units that had been “integrated” into the Congo Army, the 81st and 83rd Brigades. His units quit the Congo Army (which is run by and for Katanga mining barons and their tame officers) and fanned out through the bush to scatter the Hutu death squads, who fled without putting up a fight as usual.
If it weren’t for Bono and the UN and all the other Good People, the Tutsi would keep marching to victory. They’d carve out their own country in Rwanda, Burundi and Eastern Congo. And it would get rich in a couple of generations, once everyone around learned not to mess with it. And then there’d be actual peace in Central Africa, a kind of peace made by the locals, on local terms that everybody could understand: this is Tutsi country, so behave. We’re tougher and smarter and better-disciplined than you, and we want things productive and calm.

Well, that’s a natural, sensible outcome, so the Good People can’t stand the idea and they’ve declared Nkunda a “war criminal” in spite of the fact that the Tutsi forces have shown unbelievable restraint by any standards, never mind Congo standards.

As far as I can tell, it’s because Nkunda is a great man that the Good People hate him so much. Bono and his billionaire friends don’t want Prussian Africans. They want basket cases they can get their pictures taken giving handouts to. So excuse me if I say Nkunda, the man of war, is a better man on his own terms and in terms of making a better Africa, than Bono O’Phoney will ever be.

Gary Brecher is the author of the War Nerd. Send your comments to [email protected].

http://exiledonline.com/war-nerd-mc%...E2%80%99wardz/
 
Old July 9th, 2009 #2
Alex Linder
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War Nerd: Congo Warrior Nkunda Is Nkool
By Gary Brecher

Laurent Nkunda: War Nerd Hero

If you ever want to find a real hero, here’s one way to recognize him: the TV news will be making him into a monster 24/7. Today’s monster hero is the Tutsi general Laurent Nkunda, the leader of the “rebel” forces that are supposedly “closing in” on Goma in Eastern Congo.

The BBC, the only news agency that even pretends to take Africa seriously, has its number-one ghoul reporter, Orla Guerin, on Nkunda’s case every day.

You may not know Guerin’s name but if you like war news you’ll recognize her, because you’ve probably seen her reporting from some African death zone. She fits right in in those places, really comes into her own. She’s got the face of a skull, except skulls smile, and some creepy accent that makes you think of cold porridge and leftover damnation. Wherever she’s from, they must have had a party when she left.

In this BBC video you’ll see Orla talking about what a shame it is that the “refugees” at Kibati Refugee Camp have to stampede for food, worried as they are about being overrun by Nkunda’s “rebels.” The way Orla and the other networks are telling it, everything was just fine in Eastern Congo until the bad “rebel” leader Nkunda ordered his troops to advance. When the innocent “refugees” heard Nkunda was coming, they started running, creating a “human rights crisis.”

The print media is getting in on it too, with the Brit rag The Guardian saying that Nkunda’s troops may have actually “killed civilians,” as if that was anything unusual in Central Africa.

The Guardian’s account barely mentions that the “civilians” killed were in a “stronghold of Hutu militias”—the same militias that killed most of the Tutsi population in Rwanda back in ‘94. It’s like if the Jews had formed an army to push back the Nazis, and when the poor Nazis fled next door, the Jews did an occasional incursion to discourage the Nazi “refugees” from returning to their genocidal ways. And that’s an atrocity. Except the Nazis, give them their due, were brave as Hell and fought to the last man; the Hutu “militias” were only good a hacking babies and raping little girls, and fled at the first rumor that the enemy was approaching. That’s why they’re still around.

Every word, every disgusting damn word, of these BBC and Guardian stories is bullshit. actually makes me sick, listening to these stupid lies over and over. The reason Nkunda’s little army (estimates range from 5000 to 10000 men) advanced into Eastern Congo this week is that the Hutu gangs were getting a little too aggressive about jumping ethnic-Tutsi villages in eastern Congo, killing the men and kidnapping women and girls as sex slaves. Nkunda knows very well nobody else will protect the Tutsi, for the simple reason nobody ever has. So he went in to do it himself.



Nkunda is a great man, a brilliant man, a hero, a military genius who speaks four languages and has beaten the biggest armies around with a force of less than 10,000 men. He’s the only decent leader that part of Africa’s ever seen. It’s worth looking at the way they’ve been slandering him, because you’ll see the same techniques used to slam any real hero.

Let’s start with the oldest trick in the book, calling somebody you don’t like a “rebel.” How did the BBC decide that Nkunda is a “rebel”? Doesn’t there have to be a government, law and order, before you can rebel against it? Who is Nkunda supposed to be rebelling against? There’s no law in the forests of Eastern Congo. The UN has a pitiful token force of blue helmets wandering around slapping mosquitoes and bargaining for blow jobs with the local girls, but the real power there before Nkunda’s forces marched in was held by the leaders of the Hutu “refugees.”

“Refugee”; now there’s another wonderful word, a good match for “rebel.” It makes the Hutu the innocent victims, shivering in fright at the approach of the bad ol’ Tutsi. Well, of course that’s another do-gooder lie. These “refugees” are gangs run by the worst people in the world: the leaders of the Interahamwe and Impuzamugambe, the Hutu “militias” who massacred 800,000 Tutsi men, women, children and babies in Rwanda in 1994.

In fact, “militia” is way too good a name for these overgrown death squads. You’ll find the BBC and the other networks have a whole range of names for kill groups: “terrorist” if they hate you, “paramilitary” if they’re not sure but wouldn’t invite you to their kids’ birthday parties, and “militia” if they like you. Calling the Hutu genocide squads a “militia” is like calling Columbine a kids’ prank.

The reason these Hutu are out in the jungle is simple: they massacred almost a million fellow Rwandans in less than four months, back in those happy Clinton years, and then ran when the Tutsi, who’ve always been braver than the Hutu, formed a small army, the RPF, and chased the much bigger “militias” out. The truth is that the Tutsi behaved so well through the whole thing that the world ought to be cheering them. I tell you, if I’d been in command of the RPF when it marched back into Rwanda stepping over piles of stinking corpses chopped up with machetes, I would have taken my cue from Foday Sankoh’s name for his nutcase army’s advance on Freetown up in Sierra Leone: “Operation Kill Every Living Thing.” But the Tutsi didn’t do that. They took no revenge, let the Hutu live and even tried to set up a decent government from both tribes. They’re fucking saints, and they’re supposed to be the bad guys here?

Let me remind you again, since nobody seems to want to remember: eight hundred thousand Tutsi civilians chopped to death with machetes in less than four months. It was a real community effort by the Hutu, like one of the Amish barn raisings, only bloodier. If you want a good look at how they did it, I recommend a book called Machete Season.

It’s very simple, totally straightforward, just interviews with a gang of Hutu farmers who spent three months making daily expeditions into the local swamp, where surviving Tutsi civilians were trying to hide. They all tell the same story: “Every morning we got up, took our machetes and looked for Tutsis to hack to death. Sometimes we gang-raped the pretty girls, because those Tutsi girls have such soft skin from all the milk they drink. But we’d kill them too when we were done. After weeks of killing the Tutsi didn’t even resist any more. They just stood there and waited for us to finish them off. We had the time of our lives.”

If you have friends or relatives who believe people are basically good or any such nonsense, give them this book for Christmas. It’ll straighten them right out. People talk about “the banality of evil” but this is so much gnarlier than that. These guys wouldn’t even get that notion. The only people they feel sorry for are themselves, because they have to sit in prison for a while before the UN lets them go. They talk about their “misfortune” meaning the fact that they got arrested. In a way they’re right, because they’re just about the only Hutu murderers who got caught and punished at all.

The rest fled into the forests of Eastern Congo. They’re the “refugees” that Orla Guerin feels so sorry for: the frickin’ monsters who did their best to kill the whole Tutsi population of Rwanda in ninety days, like they were on one of those timed shopping sprees.

They didn’t change their ways in Congo, either. The Hutu militias kept their machetes (“pangas”), kept tight control of their people, and kept in practice by raiding local villages for women and girls. They’re famous for branding the women they capture like cattle, marking them as sex slaves forever. Sometimes they let them go, when they’re pregnant, so they can go back to their villages with a Hutu rapist’s baby in their belly. That must be a fun homecoming. But most of the time, when they get tired of the woman they drag her into the forest, hack her to death, and leave her there for the animals.

You might be wondering where these fine specimens of humanity get their food and water. Well, the UN, always ready to take the wrong side in any conflict, was right there to help them with food and water as soon as they fled from Rwanda when the Tutsi RPF advanced and retook the country in a few weeks.

It’s a funny thing, the way the UN was there so fast to help these miserable pigs, because nobody did a thing while almost a million Tutsi were being killed. It takes a while to kill that many people by hand. It’s downright aerobic. And nobody, absolutely nobody, did a thing while machete season was in progress. Oh, but the second the defeated Hutus, still dripping babies’ blood, fled across the border, the blue helmets and white trucks were there with sacks of rice and consolation.

Until recently there was no real explanation for this. Me, I didn’t think we even needed one: that’s how it is, especially in Africa. The bad guys always win, and the virtuous BBC reporters always take their side. Well, I still think that’s generally how it is, but one piece of the puzzle has gotten a lot clearer lately. I’m sad to say that the French were knee-deep in blood themselves, all through machete season, according to an independent report that came out in August 2008. Even I was shocked by how bad it was. According to this report,

“France was responsible for killing some of the 800,000 people slaughtered in Rwanda between April and July 1994, most of them minority Tutsis or moderate Hutus killed by Hutu militias.

“French soldiers themselves directly were involved in assassinations of Tutsis and Hutus accused of hiding Tutsis,” the report said. “French soldiers committed many rapes, specifically of Tutsi women.”

France’s late president, Francois Mitterrand, and former prime minister Dominique de Villepin were among a dozen French officials fingered in the report for providing support of ‘a political, military, diplomatic and logistic nature.’”

I wish now I’d never defended the French’s military rep the way I did back when all the NeoCons were bashing them. Got a ton of abuse for that, and for what? So they could help wipe out the Tutsi, “the tall people,” one of the bravest, smartest, most soldierly tribes in the world. And all because the French liked the way the Hutu spoke French. That has got to be the most fucked-up reason for backing a genocide I’ve ever heard: “Ah, M’sieu, eez true zey killed babeez, but zey are so fluent! Zee Hutu would nev-air use zee wrong pronoun; when zey said, “We have come to Keel you, leetul child,” it was al-vays ‘tu’ and when zey said ‘Now we will keel you, old man,’ or ‘old woman,’ eet was zee respectful ‘vous’! And zeir accent, so Parisian!”

Yeah, a little revenge for the French I had to take in high school. The pious Europeans love to talk about how Central Africa is the heart of darkness, how deep and dark and existential it all is, but they never want to mention how much they help keep it that way by always, always, always backing the most evil fuckers in the whole forest. I knew that about the Brits; they’ve done things so awful in Africa that there’s a whole publishing industry in London with the job of making sure the truth never comes out. Which is why you get stories like Orla Guerin’s or that crap in the Guardian. And the funny thing is that the “progressive” newspapers and networks over there are the biggest liars, the best genocide-enablers around.

Well, now I see better that the French are just as bad. I kind of thought they might not be; there’s always been this joke among military buffs that the French lose wars because they actually believe in fighting by the rules. I remember reading this furious letter Queen Elizabeth sent to Henri IV—a really great man, greatest man of his time—cursing him for not wiping out the whole population of this Catholic town during the wars of religion. But nah, this current crop of French, they’re just as bad.

Nkunda will be dead soon. You can count on it, when all the “good” people are lined up against him. And those poor, poor “refugees” will be free to kidnap Tutsi girls and rape them and hack them up with their beloved pangas, and Orla can report that peace has returned to Congo now that the “rebel” is gone.

http://exiledonline.com/nkunda-is-nkool/
 
Old August 10th, 2009 #3
George Witzgall
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the biggest mistake the west makes with regard to africa is believing different tribes or ethnicities should be made to live together as co-nationals, even if they are at each others throats.

instead of large nations where power is easily concentrated among a few select leaders, smaller, monolithic nations corresponding to local tribal affiliation makes much more sense for africa. then if smaller nations want to merge to form larger entities, they can do it on their own terms and timelines.

the current constellation of large multi-ethnic/multi-cultural african nations is a recipe for disaster.
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