World History according to Croatia

[psychologicalshock]

6 days in God croat worl. 1st day God sit in chair but notice no light there thinkered he - no light , no see... God no see but no create either. God smart God, Catholic God make light and say "And light let be there" and light be there! after succesly he think words of to name lightest n light littelest he think and make name "day" sun shine hard "night" sun disappear God tired but he sleeps.



then God make fish and sea and wind and water and grass and trees and atmosphere and birds and all animal and God then see hmm sumthink missing and then god think hard of what make and he sit for hours and he see ah i make croat and he make croat adam and then he see no poor croat adam alone and sad and he make for him a croat woman and name her eve and he say to eve you be good to adam adam is lonely and i make for you to be his friend


Italic mind pearl make, croat Adam false paint - Adam had big dick.

Eve big boobs had fortunate adam for, she like him he had cook big and they happy but Adam miss rib because god woman make rib adam from... adam hurt! But he okay sex make better. God say them : fruit no eat , you eat I angry and throw you croatia out of! Adam and Eve and Adam not want leave and work! Sex fun than work thus they no go thus they no work... but curiousity motive and snake talk them "Apple good, eat apple, God dumb..." and Adam+eve believe!


for event which Adam+Eve kick Croata out of, Eve boobs bigger... KGB spy right, first Slav.

eve tooked apple to adam and say "adam look what nice snake give me" and adam say "uh eve where from this fruit come?" and eve say to adam " it come from forbid tree" and adam say to eve "but God he say we no eat from tree" and eve say "the nice snake he say it is good and god is just being mean" adam looks at her and say "hm ok but i take just one bite" then god say to them "WHAT YOURS DOING?!?! I TOLD YOURS NOT EAT FROM TREE! YOURS BROKE MY ONLY ASK OF YOU NOW YOURS MUST BE KICKED FROM CROATA" eve try to tell God that Rus snake forces them to eat apple from tree, but God no listen.


God say Adam eve fuck off.

God kicks Adam+Eve garden out and says "Yours come back to Croata b-for learn you how listen me with ear!" Adam very sad he have work now with plow much and afro-lick aboot whith Eve. "I sad" while mean devil think how make living hard adam and eve for... He know! He make Russians and Serbs and Italins and Germons (except who like Ustashe) and guns to shoot NATO plane down pew pew! like that. And make he countries big than Croatia with Orthodox guys!



Adam work discover.

After adam and eve of Croatia fall from land devil snake give rule to Serv and Serv opress Croat with force and might till ancestory of eve and adam learn lesson and we did nato help up get back croata with blessing of God of Croatans and we feast and we fuck white pussy all day while KGB try to spy on us for informations


Car spy oppress Croat.

Then God see Croat fun having much, God make poope, poope lead Vatican poope is immoral most all but not all! Poope die sometimes too, it sad. Poope saids Croats to "having fun is good not, Croat bad life make!" and send he to them knights in armor white and feathers in head and they kill Croats lot for being pagans much! "Ha ha Croat die!" but Croat knew they fun must have less or else KGB get in and steal women all of! They say to poope : "We give uppers! No kill no more, we come Catholic more once!" poope smiled and killed few thousand more but stopped then because tired he was.


Poope cast see spell, see Croat bad being!


After croat become catholik we have many feast we go from border and steal servs to slaughter for feast because servs are inferior ustashe showed this ve kill lots of servs and the pope was happy because we took care of ortodox servs pope give nice words to croata for defending catholism against servs ortodoxy servs try retaliate but ve kick ther ass back to servia and we dominate yugoslavia it vas under complet croat rule till Rus and serv conspire with their ortodox to usurp rule from ours oh and kgb vas ther too

Poope die time that by and new poope understand snake no not... Catholick + NATO say go east in middle and take Jewrusalami Croat say "Orthodox pig make bad things they bad!" poop no want to listen tho he laugh and shake head "No we kill Jew I no care Serv bout or Russia they God believe too and they kick ass ours time last!" Croats good catholicks and agree go Jewrusalim and fight Saladin, Saladin win eventually but Saladin Croat actuality.

tru story saladin vas croat he come from parents born in split croata, he had disgreement with pappa and ran to make own kingdom his pappa wanted saladin (then salavic) to clean the cow poo from farm but saladin say "no! I great warrior I go from this land and make kingdom so great all of Croata will tremble) and he did croatans are good like that we make stuff work real good. It is sad passage of ours history we fight against other croat but catholic say ve must defend ourself against muds and ve did so but no good enough saladin kick our ass but we no give up!


Salavic think tactic how defeat richord lionhurt , lionhurt croat too, big battle!


Saladin no live longer than Poope but poope crow weak as king say "Ha! Poope? I King, you play chess? King more improtant than Bitch shop.. and Poope was sad but then he make Spanish inquisition which kill many Servs and Italics and Asiatics Russian but no Croat or Bosnian.. By way Bosnia brother to Croat, they made by Allah God, Allah God stole Araphs they believe but he no care! Allah God love Bosnia which why Croat like too them much plus.


Humane kill of Orthodox pigs.


It vas good time in ours history ve killed many serv and asiatic rus during inquisition at that time there vas great croat galileo (he vas friend of pope, pope like galileo much that is vhy galileo vas never burned for his vritings) and this great croat say earth round but all stupid asiatic Rus and Servs and Austrian say no it flat and galileo say "i swear to you on life earth round and it rotate the sun" and they vas screaming for his head and pope no choice but to lock up for own safety great croat galileo now today ev serv and rus and austrian they know earth round and rotate the sun and it thanks to this great croat and other croat like Kopernicus


Galileo maked satelite see roundish earth, orthodox asiatics no believe... Pope lock up galileo safety for... sad.

Maths make life easy, i go market buy watermelon, how I know pay much how? I use calculator! Who maked math and calculator? Croat Leibniz and Newton it know everyone who not stupid! ut if you stupid it okay I tell you who they were! Leibniz much black hair he make derivatives and integral writing, I no know how do it but I know he did it, Newton gravity invented if he no invent we fly in space now! God very happy Newton gravity invent, he no want his work floating off!


Newton- Croat who invent gravity! yeeehaw!

newton saw apple fall from tree but no hit floor and he think hmm, how i make apple land how i make people no more space sick from hopping up and down and it hit him aha! he make a vacuum of different layer of gas and so he send up slave serv to release his invention and so came gravity for newton was smart see he no want to drift into vast space he sent serv instead to do donkey work for his...also must make note of fact after leibniz and newton come great croat gauss, who prove fundamental theory of algebra is vhy today ve know stuff i no know that stuff but other croat know that stuff and ve make rest of world smart with croat Gauss finding including motion of planetoids and long list of other cool nice croat original stuff
also i make note apple is important in croat history. Apple cause adam of croata great pain but apple also make newton of croata invent gravity. It is vhy our arms of coat is red and white like apple


apeale significance Croatian histoire show suffer and truimp.


croat arms of coats + flag on normal croat shoe.

Gauss also make electricity, gauss smart croat understand he magnets work, he think charc fundmal and law he pass that say electrik field and charc relate and because he know i have plsma Teevee, it nice. Apple nice too, why NATO like apple pie while fly plane? Simple! We show NATO recipe apple pie they make apple pie engine in and eat while servs die, it good!


Croat Gauss democratic elect prince of mathematics.


work of gauss on elictricity vas also improve by great croat tesla serv thieves say he vas theirs but it is lie, they always steal croat intelligents and make up stories that are lies but ve set them right every time. And if servs dont listen ve sent Amerika friend with bombs to teach them they wrong.



Tesla- great Croat servs try steal, could shoot lightning out of hands.
WW2 come i think tesla before, not shure but then Ustashe real power! German say - Servs Juden frei, wut?! It sad Germons no like Ustashe say "kill serves, crime humanity against, you bad!" shit this is?! Surrise we were, but expect Germons not God made, they steal many achieves Einstein German was, he make atom bomb and it kill people radiation with, bad much. Croat fight for Germosn still and kill Servs many they deserve for all did they, God happy, say he make poope a croat next but no he Pollack, very sad.


great Croat Hitler, late replace by communist spy who hate Croata.


Also germons no like that we give jew honorary aryanship and they say to us "how can we make Europe judenfrei if you make every juden a fucken Aryan and no let us do our job right?" but ve say, "Germons juden are our friend, serv dogs they make compliant they make juden leave country but ve cant they are friend of croata we much rather focus on killin servs partisan". Germons they say "ok, kill comumism partisan", but when realise we kill any servs they no like and they write mean things for us, also not all of croata was for Germons ve had most partisans who fight Germons more then servs we actually von the war for Allies wit partisans of course if Germons won we won war for them with Ustashe but it all good ve like to play both sides of fence sometime it make sure we win no matter


great ustashe who gay germons no liked.

NATO croatia win for but USSR come and say "Servs must rule devil say it okay!" so Tito , who croat was, rule as pretend Serv... for long time suffer and Croatia resort was people come and relax but Croats die poverty die while happened that. but then yugoslav war start we weapons had none we throw sticks at , NATO remember good pie we make, they know- no croata, no pie they come help.. but mostly Croat win war and win for Bosia well as.
To this day serv try to steal land from croata it is why we support albaniac wit conquest of kosovo it is good servs lose land so they focus on others and not us when they dont look perhaps we steal some for ourself from serv dogs, and if Rus try somethink defend servs we with Nato kick their ass too we take no crap from ortodox slav we are goths.


Tool devil destroy god gift to NATO.

now okay time finaly croat belong to descindants of Adam and Eve it good, now God happy is Croat come way loing thises too... we listens god now with ears and know - apple good times some but always not, poop says Croat people good! Apple can sin be but we also enjoy can in modarnation but sometime only because poope kill us if we eat many too...

By Dick Dickerson and Pavelic Pelvisic

Authors about:

Us great guy we drink much smell lots of white pussy and great Croata! Ustahshe life for!

[Troy Alexander]

This belongs in Nutzpah.

Guys, just ignore him: this is his typical behaviour.

[psychologicalshock]

Originally Posted by Troy Alexander

This belongs in Nutzpah.

Guys, just ignore him: this is his typical behaviour.

What are you talking about? I am just posting an article about Croatia, I think it's edifying and provides a lot of knowledge! Also don't copy what I say you twat.

[Serbian]

Reading this article has been a real educative and informative experience, even for a local like me. Maybe the mod could make it a sticky.

[Karl Lueger]

Very amazing is this story..

[Elizabeth Fragale]

Originally Posted by psychologicalshock

"WHAT YOURS DOING?!?! I TOLD YOURS NOT EAT FROM TREE! YOURS BROKE MY ONLY ASK OF YOU NOW YOURS MUST BE KICKED FROM CROATA" eve try to tell God that Rus snake forces them to eat apple from tree, but God no listen.

Wow...I love this. I like the Croatian guys...but this is hilarious. You got their accent down perfectly. I always smile when I see "yours or "ours".

[Steve B]

Originally Posted by Karl Lueger

Very amazing is this story..

Lol, this whole thread is a gut buster. Whenever I read anything from the croat guys I always have this picture in my mind that I'm listening to Latka Gravas, the "Tenk you veddy much" fellow from Taxi.

PS really satirized the hell out of them.

[BryanVP]

psihološki kup snopova, ti si pitschka!

[bmwbiker]

Originally Posted by BryanVP

psihološki kup snopova, ti si pitschka!

it is like this: "psiho logični sok" ti si picka

it is hard lingo we know.

"Psiho idiot" is representing his internet warrior skills, this topic is insult for all normal pepole.

He is loser from Russia, he lost his country, comed to US and now he hate US becouse it is more advanced land then Russia.

This his kids fustration on nation what he dont know where is it, it make ous quite amuse. It was long time since we wasnt meet such retarded idiot.

And off course this thema must go to tard corral becouse it is: stupid, not affecting real situation, joke, lies..etc..

[BryanVP]

I was nowhere close. A friend of mine told me pitschka meant pussy.

[bmwbiker]

Originally Posted by BryanVP

I was nowhere close. A friend of mine told me pitschka meant pussy.

You are right as ussual my friend...pitchka is pussy and we use that word for pepole as "psihoshock".

[psychologicalshock]

Originally Posted by Elizabeth Fragale

Wow...I love this. I like the Croatian guys...but this is hilarious. You got their accent down perfectly. I always smile when I see "yours or "ours".

Thanks a lot Liz but actually this was written in tandem by turns with Karl Von Klausowitz, if you want to figure out who wrote what just count the paragraphs, all odd ones are mine all even ones are his. That one is his and I thought it was hilarious too

Originally Posted by Serbian

Reading this article has been a real educative and informative experience, even for a local like me. Maybe the mod could make it a sticky.

Thank you kindly, we educate try!

[BryanVP]

You and Karl are starting to sound like two racist peas in a pod.

[psychologicalshock]

Originally Posted by bmwbiker

This his kids fustration on nation what he dont know where is it, it make ous quite amuse. It was long time since we wasnt meet such retarded idiot.

I think same... right? retard idiot insult croatia, i cry but no care!

[bmwbiker]

Originally Posted by psychologicalshock

Thanks a lot Liz but actually this was written in tandem by turns with Karl Von Klausowitz, if you want to figure out who wrote what just count the paragraphs, all odd ones are mine all even ones are his. That one is his and I thought it was hilarious too



Thank you kindly, we educate try!

Delete thema and I will buy you a nice ice-cream (vanilia not that nigger chockolade) and lollypop with wissle.

[psychologicalshock]

Originally Posted by bmwbiker

Delete thema and I will buy you a nice ice-cream (vanilia not that nigger chockolade) and lollypop with wissle.

no i take not lollipop from stranger Croat, mom says rape you want, scary man!

[bmwbiker]

Originally Posted by psychologicalshock

no i take not lollipop from stranger Croat, mom says rape you want, scary man!

You mamma say that???

Come on, how much yours mama charging for "pitchka ride"? 10$, 20$ or yust everybody who ask?

I love Russian customs, so friendly

[psychologicalshock]

Originally Posted by bmwbiker

You mamma say that???

Come on, how much yours mama charging for "pitchka ride"? 10$, 20$ or yust everybody who ask?

I love Russian customs, so friendly

homosexual hate we,
you croat no, you asiatic orhohox! Go away or i kill you with axe but not before i sex your mom and sister and kill your donkey and your cow and your chickens and tell your father you his not, then i kill, then i hang you in front house, then i set you on fire, then I go home and sleep.

[bmwbiker]

Originally Posted by bmwbiker

You mamma say that???

Come on, how much yours mama charging for "pitchka ride"? 10$, 20$ or yust everybody who ask?

I love Russian customs, so friendly

Originally Posted by psychologicalshock

homosexual hate we,
you croat no, you asiatic orhohox! Go away or i kill you with axe but not before i sex your mom and sister and kill your donkey and your cow and your chickens and tell your father you his not, then i kill, then i hang you in front house, then i set you on fire, then I go home and sleep.

So cheap...damn, yours Russian womans, allways giving, just need to ask (some times give botle of Vodka). That is main reason why Mongols loved Russia, and still love it.

You must say to yours drunk mama, that I will give you some candy, and to her some good healthy "pitchka ride" and i will give her a bottle of Vodka (if ride be satisfying).

One thing I want to know: where yours mama "operate" : in street? In car? or in yours house in front of yours father who will make dinner for all?

[psychologicalshock]

Originally Posted by bmwbiker

So cheap...damn, yours Russian womans, allways giving, just need to ask (some times give botle of Vodka). That is main reason why Mongols loved Russia, and still love it.

You must say to yours drunk mama, that I will give you some candy, and to her some good healthy "pitchka ride" and i will give her a bottle of Vodka (if ride be satisfying).

One thing I want to know: where yours mama "operate" : in street? In car? or in yours house in front of yours father who will make dinner for all?

you asiatic serv come croatia, i kick ass yours.. i pay... i be slave yours and then kick ass, i shoot 300 servs in war, i flew NATO plane, i kick anyone ass.